Songs I wish I wrote: "Don't Go Home with Your Hard-On" by Leonard Cohen

There are so many Leonard Cohen songs that I love. I've performed "Last Year's Man" and recorded my own arrangement of his poem "Flowers for Hitler". This song, however, is brilliantly written and super catchy. The title on my copy of the LP said "Don't Go Home with Your Heart On", which I liked better. You can hear Bob Dylan and Allen Ginsberg singing back-up vocals.

It appeared on his 1977 album "Death of a Ladies' Man", produced by Phil Spector. During these sessions, Cohen recalls, "One day he had a bottle of wine in one hand and a 35mm pistol in the other. He put his arm around my shoulder, pressed the muzzle into my neck and said, 'Leonard, I love you.' At which point I said: 'I hope you really do, Phil.’" The album was hated by fans, derided by critics, and Cohen himself called it a catastrophe. Fewer songs from this album have been covered than any others.

I was born in a beauty salon
My father was a dresser of hair
My mother was a girl you could call on
When you called she was always there

Ah but don't go home with your hard-on
It will only drive you insane
You can't shake it (or break it) with your Motown
You can't melt it down in the rain

I've looked behind all of the faces
That smile you down to your knees
And the lips that say, Come on, taste us
And when you try to they make you say Please

Ah but don't go home with your hard-on ...

Here come's your bride with her veil on
Approach her, you wretch, if you dare
Approach her, you ape with your tail on
Once you have her she'll always be there

Ah but don't go home with your hard-on ...

So I work in that same beauty salon
I'm chained to the old masquerade
The lipstick, the shadow, the silicone
I follow my father's trade

Ah but don't go home with your hard-on
It will only drive you insane
You can't shake it (or break it) with your Motown
You can't melt it down in the rain